Stephen Donahue
c6d7c8c211
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Retract the seven published columns into drafts/ and promote the 24 per-date entries split out of Notes/random.md. Bodies are verbatim; titles, subjects and slugs are new. Make publication a matter of location. Notes/Notes.11tydata.js gives anything under Notes/ permalink: false unless tagged `column`; drafts/drafts.11tydata.js renders drafts at their real permalink under `yarn dev` and excludes them from collections entirely in a build, so no template can surface one. Publishing is now `git mv drafts/<file> columns/`, and moving it back retracts it. Untagged notes were previously rendered into _site/ and deployed — including Notes/random.md, which was live at /Notes/random/.
10 lines
1.4 KiB
Markdown
10 lines
1.4 KiB
Markdown
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title: By Attrition
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date: 2026-05-14
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layout: column.njk
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tags: [column, society]
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permalink: /columns/2026/by-attrition/
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---
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I don't want to lead just for leadership sake. I don't want to be the default example by virtue of attrition. I want to inspire and to steer because...? I can't find the motivation. I take such a hands-off approach, because I believe it's better to let everyone find their own way? Do I really believe that, or it's just what I believe was expected of me? What is my hope for others, if not for myself? I think that's the root of a lot of attempted influence: I can't, so I'll try through you instead. I couldn't figure out how to rely on others, so I'll just vaguely insist upon it for you instead. But that's just placing the burdon on someone else. If I truly believe in something, why do I resist it? Either there's a conflicting belief opposing the effort, or it's not truly my belief. It doesn't really capture what I think and feel. I think it's a mixed-bag: that I have a lot of growing to do, and that I need to build meaningful connections with others. I hesitate to pursue the latter before the prior is established (undeniably,) but then again I probably won't make any real progress without learning from others. A self-limiting condition: become excellent before seeking others, but you need others to become truly excellent. So get comfortable with the discomfort of your own mediocrity.
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