## Rough Notes
- I can't remember where I read it, probably in Systems Thinking, something about dissent having to die off before a prevailing theory changes.
- The assertion that individuals are locked in to their beliefs.
- I go through these arcs:
    - a life of no substance is waste
    - then, all is waste:
        - Assessing substance is rooted in values
        - how can something so subjective possibly reflect objective 'value?'
    - That if I cannot grow
        - That's ok, because I don't owe anyone anything?
- [belief] It's not enough to simply exist
    - Your value (however you price it), must be undeniable
    - Mediocrity is not just a moral failing, it's basically criminal (against God, why not.)
    - That I deserve nothing, I earn everything (and even what I've earned, I really don't deserve, I just cheated, somehow.)
    - That just being, is just waiting around to die (and why waste time?)
    - That we don't ready ourselves for death through contentment, but by action.
    - And since I am deeply unoriginal, I can only assume this is just a modern twist on Catholic guilt:
        - in death, you shall be rewarded for the quality of your life, as measured by:
            - children
            - toil
            - tithe
        - there's no reward after death, but in those final minutes, sure, you'll rest-easy knowing you worked yourself raw.
        - Small comfort for the ugly deaths then
            - no shits given for your merits
    - But it's frightening to kick the tires on the vehicle I've been strapped to.
    - If I break it, dismantle it, then what?
        - How do I propel myself forward?
    - I think that's frightening for a couple reasons:
        - Not just the obvious uncertainty
        - But having seen people wrestle with it and struggle for _decades_.
        - For all the hard work, to be knocked down on your ass unceremoniously.
        - To search desperately for any kind of momentum, and finding nothing left.
        - That sucks, so yeah, it's got issues, but the ride that moves I'm gonna latch on
    [belief] moral superiority will deliver you unto the kingdom of heaven
        - Who needs friends when you've got virtuous consumerism, aescetic inclinations (no gas, I ride), 
        - The best bandaid for loneliness is to imagine a carbon-neutral passive home, somewhere far away without the remotest possibility of connection with anyone or anything (maybe a snake, some kind of burrowing rodent.)
    [belief] There's no time for fun, we have work to do.


## Questions
- Why don't I ask questions?
    - A question that ties nicely to a quote:
    - "If you never say anything wrong, you never say anything."
- A general law is bound to have at least two exceptions?
    - What about arithmetic? Though that one is bound to sneak an exception in through the definitions.
    - I think we already called out Thermodynamics earlier. Again, saved by carefully crafted definitions
- How can I take anything I say outloud seriously? Or have the nerve to write down? A moment later, I've seen the other angle where I'm tragically misguided. Maybe I've just never thought something through well enough, to see it baked through, all the arguments and counter-arguments, where I'm left holding neither reason nor sentiment. Just a vague, fuzzy intuition, where I'm no longer suprised by the challenges.
- Why do I get caught off-guard?
    - I didn't think of it first.
    - I didn't consider the opposition, I just sat comfortably in my belief, in the false-security of the unchallenged, unexamined belief.
    - Then, when the inevitable challenge does come, I'm shocked and bewildered and outraged and hurt.
    - Because I threw myself upon a raft seeking relief without checking its worthiness.


## Quotes
- "The Law of Conservation of Laws"
    - Systems
    - In the face of disputing evidence
        - change the definitions
        - don't scrap the law