[notes] beliefs

Notes/beliefs.md

@@ -1,8 +1,60 @@
 ## Rough Notes
 - I can't remember where I read it, probably in Systems Thinking, something about dissent having to die off before a prevailing theory changes.
 - The assertion that individuals are locked in to their beliefs.
+- I go through these arcs:
+    - a life of no substance is waste
+    - then, all is waste:
+        - Assessing substance is rooted in values
+        - how can something so subjective possibly reflect objective 'value?'
+    - That if I cannot grow
+        - That's ok, because I don't owe anyone anything?
+- [belief] It's not enough to simply exist
+    - Your value (however you price it), must be undeniable
+    - Mediocrity is not just a moral failing, it's basically criminal (against God, why not.)
+    - That I deserve nothing, I earn everything (and even what I've earned, I really don't deserve, I just cheated, somehow.)
+    - That just being, is just waiting around to die (and why waste time?)
+    - That we don't ready ourselves for death through contentment, but by action.
+    - And since I am deeply unoriginal, I can only assume this is just a modern twist on Catholic guilt:
+        - in death, you shall be rewarded for the quality of your life, as measured by:
+            - children
+            - toil
+            - tithe
+        - there's no reward after death, but in those final minutes, sure, you'll rest-easy knowing you worked yourself raw.
+        - Small comfort for the ugly deaths then
+            - no shits given for your merits
+    - But it's frightening to kick the tires on the vehicle I've been strapped to.
+    - If I break it, dismantle it, then what?
+        - How do I propel myself forward?
+    - I think that's frightening for a couple reasons:
+        - Not just the obvious uncertainty
+        - But having seen people wrestle with it and struggle for _decades_.
+        - For all the hard work, to be knocked down on your ass unceremoniously.
+        - To search desperately for any kind of momentum, and finding nothing left.
+        - That sucks, so yeah, it's got issues, but the ride that moves I'm gonna latch on
+    [belief] moral superiority will deliver you unto the kingdom of heaven
+        - Who needs friends when you've got virtuous consumerism, aescetic inclinations (no gas, I ride), 
+        - The best bandaid for loneliness is to imagine a carbon-neutral passive home, somewhere far away without the remotest possibility of connection with anyone or anything (maybe a snake, some kind of burrowing rodent.)
+    [belief] There's no time for fun, we have work to do.
+
 
 ## Questions
+- Why don't I ask questions?
+    - A question that ties nicely to a quote:
+    - "If you never say anything wrong, you never say anything."
+- A general law is bound to have at least two exceptions?
+    - What about arithmetic? Though that one is bound to sneak an exception in through the definitions.
+    - I think we already called out Thermodynamics earlier. Again, saved by carefully crafted definitions
+- How can I take anything I say outloud seriously? Or have the nerve to write down? A moment later, I've seen the other angle where I'm tragically misguided. Maybe I've just never thought something through well enough, to see it baked through, all the arguments and counter-arguments, where I'm left holding neither reason nor sentiment. Just a vague, fuzzy intuition, where I'm no longer suprised by the challenges.
+- Why do I get caught off-guard?
+    - I didn't think of it first.
+    - I didn't consider the opposition, I just sat comfortably in my belief, in the false-security of the unchallenged, unexamined belief.
+    - Then, when the inevitable challenge does come, I'm shocked and bewildered and outraged and hurt.
+    - Because I threw myself upon a raft seeking relief without checking its worthiness.
 
 
-## Quotes
+## Quotes
+- "The Law of Conservation of Laws"
+    - Systems
+    - In the face of disputing evidence
+        - change the definitions
+        - don't scrap the law