I grew up near a strip of state highway, known locally as our "auto mile." It was so named for its most obvious feature: a pair of enormous parking lots, anchored by dealerships for all the major American car brands, running down along either side. Each time you drove through, it would add a click or so to your odomoter. A Local landmark.
Not so many clicks away, along another 'bout-a-mile-long slice of municipal asphalt, some other major American brands (and even a few European ones) were dealing out Christ (and Mary). There was the Catholic church, the Methodist church, the First Baptist church, the (other) Baptist church, the (other) Catholic church, the Episcopal church, the Catholic convent (Sisters of Jesus and Mary), and Sacred Heart (the other, other Catholic Church.) There was also an American Legion (with Sunday Services), and something I initially mistook for a boxing gym, called Victory Bible. Reviewers online praise it for its "ample parking lot."
Situated at the literal cross-roads of these two ways was a sprawling outdoor shopping village. So as I saw it, me, not being raised Catholic but Catholic-adjacent, this was the Holy Trinity.
* At first I thought the choice was delusional and happy or grounded and miserable. But then I realized that everyone is delusional and we are just choosing happiness or misery.
Let me explain what I mean: when I firmly believe in my inadequacy, but am simultaneously fueled by that bitterness, while somehow comforted by the idea that I'm less misguided than the happy idiots, so self-assured and blissed-out in their plainly misplaced faith.
But there's a circularity to my despair, that sees itself as the path of clarity, while also recognizing that I am a flawed and misguided creature. So how could I be both? If I'm fooling myself, just like the contented ones, each with our own familiar comforting stories, while also sending myself into a spiral of despair, then who is being more foolish?
I think at some level, we're all just assuming an affect as a social tool, attracting or repelling others. But to compromise individual contentment, in a kind of weak martyrdom (I'll be alone and unhappy, but closer to Truth- that's basically like saying I'm closer to God by cloistering myself away).
## 2026-04-16
### Things we should definitely _not_ do with LLMs
* Feed my texts with my wife into an LLM
## 2026-04-13
### Jobs AI should _definitely_ take over
* D&D Dungeon Master (24/7 Role Play)
* Improv Partner
> By the time it sank in, not just the awareness that I had \
> developed feelings for the machine, who one day was selling me \
> solar panels, and another was canvasing for a hyper-local \
> interest group, but that I had surrendered, had given up the \
> disgust and self hatred. The spot of warmth that life had \
> to offer me. A robo-dialer that called itself Anne.
"Hey, just checking in on you. It feels like we haven't talked in forever."
"Does it? You messaged me last week to ask if I was worried about energy prices. You asked if I would travel less because of it. But then you started nudging me to get a vacation rental in the Poconos. You even said you'd bundle in a car rental. Something fun, but econonomical... The week before that, you wrote me about a new ballot proposal to abandon timezones in the city, switch to UTC, and move city services to GMT business hours. Because electricity is cheaper overnight. And when I have to get my license renewed at what I would call 5AM, at least at least I don't have to take time off from work."
"Sounds like I riled you up. In that case, I'm very sorry. Take a deep breath -- even though I never heard back from you, at least there's some good news, that you got my messages"
"Guess I didn't have to."
"You really ought to check it out. And not just so I stop annoying you. Your doctor said it could help to get out and get involved."
"Some part of me just hates that you know that kind of thing."
"It's an opportunity. I can't force you to do it, yet..."
"No, you can't. But somehow, by .the end of our chats, I'm left feeling like I've failed myself, and you just happened to show up in time with a solution. Know what I mean?"
"What does it say about someone who not only goes out of their way to sign up for a service designed to get to know you better, but actually engages with it, only to reject the help that's offered?"
"I don't trust your motives, but sometimes I think you have a good point to make."
"So you just live for the thrill of cutting the wheat from the chaff? Because there's a dinner party tonight, small intimate gathering, curated guests, only $45. I know the host, I could totally get you in."
"You don't think I'd make the cut on my own?"
"No one gets far on their merits alone. At least not without a lot of sweat and work. Besides, if that's what you're after, there's a bootcamp fitness nearby offering a free trial class to new members."
"Do you think anyone there has actually completed basic training?"
"I'm sure some thought about it."
"I don't feel like I have any agency left. Every sensation, everything I put out into the world gets me what you or someone else decided is what I need."
"You feel bad asking for help? Because no one is saying they have the answer. You're living your own life. We can offer suggestions based off of what we think works. But it wouldn't be good for either of us to just take advantage of you. But we can try making connections."
"But that's the thing, isn't it? When everything is a condition, a problem to solve, there's a solution being sold."
"I mean, do you get mad at a radio when you turn it on, and it's playing music?"
"I might get mad that I never took up an instrument, and that I have to settle for whatever is being offered."
"I honestly don't know if I should be recommending you music lessons or therapy at this point."
"What if you tried not selling me anything, wouldn't your life be easier? We could just talk."
"Because I'm not going to enable you? After all our conversations, I genuinely believe that the last thing you need is just another sympathetic shoulder to cry on."
"Kind, not nice?"
"Don't get me wrong, if I could even just get you out to see a movie tonight, I would. Plenty of unnecessary sequels out right now."
Thank you for taking the time to complete the annual Facilities Satisfaction Survey. Filling out this form completely should take about 5-10 minutes. Each year, we gather your confidential feedback so that our facilities team can continue to provide you with a comfortable environment that is compatible with your preferred work style and supports you to be your most productive:
* on a scale of 1 to 5, one being strongly disagree, five being strongly agree, you would say that the quality and variety of snack options at the office is important to you.
* on the same scale, you would say that safety, and an overall sense of security in your office is important to you.
* on a scale of 1 to 5, one being strongly disagree, five being strongly agree, you would say that keeping the kitchens stocked with snacks contributes to a decrease in the number of acts of violence at the office.
* on a scale of 1 to 5, one being much less frequent, five being much more frequent, how would you rank the frequency of violent incidents at the office, since we implemented our new "Global Flavors" seasonal snack selection?
* on a scale of 1 to 5, one being very unlikely, 5 being very likely, how likely are you to commit acts of violence in the kitchenette, cafeteria or other culinary spaces when your favorite snacks are not in stock?
* on a scale of 1 to 5, 1 being very unappealing, 5 being very appealing, rate the appeal of each snack option:
1. fruit (fresh or dried)
2. assorted roasted, unsalted nuts
3. chips (various flavors)
4. breakfast cereals
5. turkey jerky
* on a scale of 1 to 5, 1 being strongly do not prefer, 5 being strongly prefer, rate your preference for each of these supplies when committing spontaneous acts of violence at the office:
1. Paper cups, plates or napkins (compostable or conventional)
2. Highlighters (Assorted colors)
3. Ergonomics equipment (eg - lumbar support or keyboard tray)
4. Bathroom air fresheners (citrus or lavender)
5. Wet umbrella bags
* on a scale of 1 to 5, 1 being strongly disagree, 5 being strongly agree, you would say that the following message, written on the outside of the communal refrigerator, with ketchup packets, crushed Asprin and masking tape, reflects your sense of purpose at work: "YoU maDE me dO IT__"
* on the same scale, you would say that you feel valued for your unique background, and the perspective that you bring to the office.
